U.S. Women’s Soccer Team Beats Thailand 13-0

U.S. Women’s Soccer Team Beats Thailand 13-0


-Welcome to
“The Tonight Show,” everybody. Thank you so much
for being here. It’s a good show tonight.
Great show tonight. Chris Hemsworth is here.
-Yeah! [ Cheers and applause ] -The Jonas Brothers are here!
[ Cheers and applause ] I love those guys.
I love Chris Hemsworth, too. When I talk to him, it’s like
I’m looking in a mirror. -Really?
-Yeah. That’s how I feel. You guys, everybody is excited
about the World Cup and the U.S.
Women’s National Soccer Team. Did you see that?
[ Cheers and applause ] Whoa! That game was amazing.
They beat Thailand, 13-0. [ Cheers and applause ] People in Thailand were like, “How could you do this
after we made your uniforms?” You know… You got to
feel for Thailand, though. It’s a tough way
to start the tournament. It’s the worst thing to happen
to a Thai soccer team that didn’t involve
getting trapped in a cave. And… Guys, millions of people
tuned in to watch the women’s team, and
down in Miami, a bar offered
a special promotion to get people to come watch
the game with them. But, in hindsight, I’m not sure
it was such a good idea. Watch this. -American Social —
that’s the name of the bar — offered free shots
for every U.S.A. goal. Oopsies. -13 goals. Oh, my gosh. Then the Thailand goalie —
Thailand’s goalie was like, “What’s the big deal? I did a shot
after every goal, too.” We’re keeping up
with each other.” Forget Thailand. The real loser yesterday
was every Uber driver in Miami. I mean, please. Let’s get to some
political news. Today, everybody is talking
about a new national poll that just came out that shows
how President Trump would do against
the top Democrats. Take a look at this.
Yeah, Trump’s behind everybody. Actually, I just heard
right now he’s even losing to the Thailand
women’s soccer team. -Really? Really?
[ Cheers and applause ] -Unbelievable.
But it’s true. Everybody is already
talking about these polls, and as we all know
from the past, polls do a great job predicting
what really happens. -Clinton is leading
Donald Trump, nationally, by 9 points, 52-43. -Yeah, so if you want to know
how much these polls matter, just ask
President Hillary Clinton. So you’ll see. Yes.
These polls matter. Well, meantime,
out on the campaign trail, Joe Biden and Trump have been
trading insults all week. Trump’s been saying that Biden
is too old to be president. Well, reporters asked Biden
about his age and stamina. Check out how he responded. -Look at him and look at me
and answer the question. -A Biden staffer was like,
“Okay, whose turn is it to remind him about
personal space? Okay. Your turn? My turn?” Can we hear Biden’s voice again? -Look at him and look at me
and answer the question. -Is he trying to become
president or Batman? [ Deeply ]
“I’m Biden. I’m Biden.” [ Normal voice ] Well,
between now and the election, there is still a lot to keep
the president busy. Today, I saw that Trump met with
the president of Poland in the Oval Office, and
Trump talked about his speech that he gave last time
he went to Poland. Take a look. -I could say it,
but I don’t want to say it. But some people said it was
the best speech ever made by a president in Europe. But I did not say that.
I’m just quoting other people. -Oh, God.
-Oh, goodness. He was like,
“Now, look, you know me. I would never brag about myself. I’m just a very successful,
long-fingered billionaire.” But in that meeting,
Trump said that he’s sending more troops to Poland. And get this — the Polish
president actually said that they should call the
U.S. base Fort Trump. But Trump said “no,” because
that’s the name of the blankets stretched across between
two couches in the Oval Office. I saw that Trump’s also
been talking with France lately. French President
Emmanuel Macron sent him a new friendship tree, after the one that
they planted together died. For this tree, Macron also
sent a note that said… We have a great show tonight.

Antonio Breitenberg

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100 thoughts on “U.S. Women’s Soccer Team Beats Thailand 13-0

  1. Marii1S says:

    Of course you only talk about FOOTBALL when you're good at it 😂

  2. SoundThatLa says:

    It's football! It's a game entirely based on using your FOOT to control the BALL. What you call football should be called handball, makes a lot more sense.

  3. Daniel Lewis says:

    Creepy Joe! OMG!

  4. Josh Thrower says:

    It’s football !! You kick the ball that’s football not soccer

  5. Shivam Jaiswal says:

    Not the polls' fault though when the electoral college interferes with people's decision!

  6. Vatin Lipisunthorn says:

    Your jokes about the Thai soccer team is mean spirited jimmy. Have some sympathy.

  7. Lord Vader says:

    My Thai food delivery now arrives sticky and cold. Now, my Chile may soon get here cold, too.

  8. manguy2000 says:

    The US women were so unprofessional…celebrating their goals like they just won the title when it was 9 and 10 nothing…it was pathetic.

  9. Ad4m B says:

    What’s soccer

  10. Frederick Marvin says:

    I found that "trapped in a cave" joke insensitive. That was classless, come on now.

  11. Sudarshan Chaubey says:

    Creepy Joe 🤢🤢🤢

  12. Lov_Vnsa says:

    Fu*k off. I’m not a fan of yours anymore!

  13. Tony Phang says:

    Bad joke on the boys trapped in cave. Be kind Jimmy.

  14. Daru Ru says:

    Damn Jimmy

  15. jobi v v says:

    first of all its not soccer its football

  16. Joseph says:

    Trump is going to destroy the Dems in the election!

  17. David Roberts says:

    Megan Rapinoe the team captain is refusing to honor the National Anthem.
    The media blackout on this is the real story not stupid goal celebrations.
    Until they respect the country they represent I hope they lose.

  18. buckbiro says:

    I usually like this guy, this is a bit off color though. "We made your uniforms?"

  19. PBJ Sandwich says:

    WOW! Way to be racist Jimmy! Totally classless

  20. thegodhimself 101 says:

    That cave joke about Thailand I saw it on reddit lol

  21. Augustus vc says:

    Football is about respect opponents. Hope USAwomen lose in worldcup soon for their disrespect.

  22. Alicia Hahn says:

    That joke about the Thai people making the U.S. uniforms… Mr. Fallon, it’s the first time I heard you give a racist joke. I am strongly disappointed in you and your writing staff.

  23. Tiny says:

    why be so mean. Yes the USA was better and Thailand didn't play good at all, but atleast they weren't arrogant…

  24. Jayden Iglesias says:

    Trump 'totally' had the best speech ever by president in Europe
    Not like JFK existed, and not like JFK made a speech in Berlin

  25. Mobile San says:

    Racist joke is easy thats why he never be a funny comedian

  26. Declan Owen says:

    Tired of the lame Trump jokes.

  27. Duarua Tolu says:

    The first time I saw someone pick up food and eat from a trash can on the streets was not in Thailand, not China, not India, not Africa, not Australia … but downtown LA. Yes, Jimmy, downtown US of A. Your thoughts … Jimmy?

  28. Cristina Huilar says:

    What happened to Jimmy's eyes???

  29. Edgar Rojo says:

    What’s wrong with his eyes is that his not sleeping or on drugs! He has looked high for a past week!!

  30. Ashwin Ghadveer says:

    Cave joke not cool.

  31. Soumyanil Mukherjee says:

    It is football not Soccer……

  32. 4712pierre says:

    So useless

  33. Jay Kijai says:

    The cave joke wasn’t cool. Too soon. I was living in Thailand when that happened…

  34. omnidentalstudio says:

    13-0 they beat Thailand. 😂. Big deal what joke

  35. can nuk says:

    the 'poll' is no different than the one in the 2016 election. trump 'behind'.

  36. Joy Balasubramaniam says:

    Football!!! not Soccer!!

  37. Daniel Single says:

    Reading those shitty low jokes clearly gave Jimmy pink eye. Just look at those infected bags under his eyes!

  38. Justin Hemopo says:

    I mean the Thai team are literally only semi professionals, the American team plays professionally at the top clubs in the world, it's really nothing to be excited about 😂

  39. Gabby S says:

    Thats not fair Thailand is ranked 45 ,Not fair. This is RIGGED $$$

  40. Steezy Mac says:

    Thank you USWNT for showing the world how classless you all are.

  41. quietman356 123455 says:

    A regular barn burner. At the edge of our collective seats for that one.

  42. David Guile says:

    Jimmy was savage!

  43. Nicole Gantly says:

    Disrespectful

  44. Pilanee Pilanee says:

    please note that: Thailand is the only one country in W worldcup which hasn't a women football league.

  45. Robert Lindeman says:

    Didn't have enough time to sleep that one off Jimmy? Rehab? AA?

  46. supertrooperbc says:

    K a r m a…gonna get ya

  47. TheHellogoo says:

    That was actually really funny from Jimmy.

  48. Tomas Alman says:

    First min un to the vid and a i have a new respect for this guy hahaha

  49. PaleAlejandro says:

    Hey Jimmy, how bout the Bruins?

  50. min deal says:

    Japan will beat usa

  51. Rohan Patel says:

    Comedians make racist jokes all the time, but as soon as Jimmy makes one it’s the end of the world. Grow up people it’s comedy

  52. Peter L says:

    Bet you if that team they beat were from some African country, they would have behave differently or at least apologized. Hypocrisy…
    And you know I'm right about this.

  53. lewis bob says:

    It's not that you're good it's just that they're bad

  54. Nienke Dekker says:

    Wait for the Hollanders 😇

  55. annie b says:

    Trevor Noah did that cave joke!

  56. Dejvid Çera says:

    Lmao he went off #trashthai

  57. Haldun Gelelioglu says:

    Joke about cave? Damn loser…

  58. ChippingSam says:

    Even the country that called it "soccer" gets a 13-0.

  59. Duarua Tolu says:

    Before ya-ll get carried away … flashback to the 5 – 2 loss to an under 15 boys team … now, it'd be downright embarrassing if these
    bimbos become champions

  60. Duarua Tolu says:

    Before ya-ll get carried away … flashback to the 5 – 2 loss to an under 15 boys team … now, it'd be downright embarrassing if these
    bimbos become champions

  61. Esmeraldito Prishka says:

    Poly wraio h dhlwsh mou sto place speces na dhlwnei ellhnas oti “Po un ca tbej “ …….opoios den kserei den exei diko mou aera O ellllhna.’ 👄👄👄👄👄👄🎖🤘🇲🇨

  62. Desordem e Corrupção Paraíso dos Corruptos says:

    13X0 😂😂😂😂😂

  63. sjoerd ber boike Witteveen says:

    Jimmy looks like he has a big hangover

  64. Jose Rafael Palma says:

    Sad for Thailand it's not Muay Thai.

  65. Randy Angel says:

    The Trapped in a cave joke was brutal

  66. big earl says:

    Jimmy looks like hes been sniffing @ss all night

  67. Red Supreamacy says:

    I bet white and black men with yellow fever wasn't happy to see this looooooooool

  68. Bill Harris says:

    Wow Fallon is worse than leno

  69. Taufik Rahman says:

    Jimmy look different here. I think he's tired lol. 😅

  70. jesse guy says:

    Does jimmy still drink?

  71. KarlaElaine100 says:

    He looks ill. I don’t say that in a mean spirited way. Jimmy is my favorite late night host. At first, I thought it was just his left eye…maybe a contact issue. He looks like he has cried or is high or sick. He is going through the motions but his heart isn’t in the process lately. Be well, Jimmy! We need your laughter, talent and entertainment. Most of all though, take care of yourself!

  72. Meike says:

    Personally don’t think US deserves to win the World Cup. Most Americans don’t even know the champions league exists 🤔😪

  73. thad anderson says:

    Just watched the usa vs spain game,,, bitterly disappointed and dramatic actors on the usa team both pentaly shots were horse shit…. the only goal scored was spain 1 to 0…

  74. pennavedc says:

    Go home Jimmy. You're drunk.

  75. Joan Jackson says:

    Jimmy …..you could have been nicer to the other team…. you acted just like the USA team did…

  76. Jate Catalunya says:

    Jimmy you hate thailand ?

  77. _Bartree _ says:

    Cheats

  78. slurplyna says:

    rapaces elles nous ont battu ces rats

  79. aceaceshuk says:

    Sad humor. This american generation is going to shit. I am very ashamed.

  80. Su Amigo El Ilegal says:

    What is all that shit on his face

  81. horsels says:

    I guess he forgot to make a video when the USA women’s national team lost 5-2 to an u14 Dallas boys team.

  82. Unicon Power says:

    21 million subs 64k veiws

  83. Jim Keel says:

    U.S. Women's Soccer Team Beats Thailand 13-0 yet they lost to teenage boys…..FC Dallas under-15 boys squad beat the U.S. Women's National Team in a scrimmage

  84. Min Yang says:

    There is a thin line between jokes and insult

  85. Embryo says:

    Not funny.

  86. btrsbspic231567 says:

    Imagine how bad that u15 boys team would beat Thailand

  87. Jonathan Landeros says:

    Talking about shots makes sense for him, he’s the ones always drunk. Can’t even show up sometimes cause he “injured” his hand.

  88. Sis Yo says:

    You know what you guys said in 2016 trump will lose trump will never win impossible for him to win yet HE WON TRUMP 2020

  89. comrade doggo says:

    i like the uswnt but i hate jimmy fallon i can't decide whether i should like or dislike

  90. Cale Singleton says:

    Daaaamn. Jimmys gotten brutal with age 😂😂😂😂

  91. Spooky MGTOW says:

    And these "world champions" lost to tween boys u15 team 5 to 2.

  92. ssep12 says:

    Play against 15 year old kids and let’s see what happens 🤣 equal pay my ass!!!

  93. Sebastian Gonzalez says:

    This dude is such a cuck

  94. DARTH JAR JAR says:

    What is soccer? I only know football

  95. Herbert Tanner says:

    Bro this is the most like funny I’ve ever seen him and nice to see Comedians be left leaning but that man roasted the shit outta Hillary Clinton

  96. John Doe says:

    Fallon is a drunken JEW loser. Complete idiot and failure.

  97. Lia Griese says:

    jimmy's trump imitation is on point!

  98. edu laudrup says:

    Alex Morgan had a feast with Thailand

  99. Sir Trollsalot says:

    But lost to an under-15 boys team. Women must really suck at sports. It’s no wonder they’re paid less.

  100. My Name Is Real says:

    Beat TAHI LAND is Beautifull

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