My Thoughts on Sports

My Thoughts on Sports


HEY ENGLAND! For the entirity of this video, I’m going to be calling this sport “Football” and this sport “Soccer”, okay? (POSH RP ACCENT) Well blimey mate, we got a cheeky bugger here. We do we do. Well pip pop cheerio, hope a stiffy wanks your knockers GOD SAVE THE QUEEN! (Laughs) (Inhales) What did I just say? (Laughs) So… The theme of this video, Sports. Either you love ’em or you hate ’em. Or you have some other third opinion. Growing up, my family was never big on sports. We never watched any games on the telly- Oops, sorry, I still got some British in me. …and me and my dad never went out and played catch, he also never taught me how to shave. He was gone a lot. He always talked about Heather. Okay, but I did played soccer for a couple years when I was like seven. I was on the Green Team. Sports at that age, aren’t even like… sports. It’s just parents wanting you to go outside more. Being a goalie on a soccer team when your that age is super stressful. The whole team is counting on you. Even stopping a ball that gently rolled towards you is difficult. One time, the other team we were playing was so sucky that all the players spent the whole game on their half of the field. And I was the goalie for my team, and I remember just sitting down and picking at the grass. Soccer is the only sport that I’ve been on a team for. Well, I mean, I’m not counting the track tream that I was on for only two days. There’s this kid I mentioned a long time ago in my boy scout video named Micah, now he was a soccer fanatic. I wonder what he’s doing. OKAY ENGLAND! We have this holiday called Thanksgiving. We celebrate it because it’s when we left your lame country. Don’t ask what we did next. So, on Thanksgiving, for some reason, it a tradition to play football before you go and eat food. So while the ladies stay inside and cook the meal, the men go outside and throw the pigskin around. (Laughs) I’m just kidding you guys, I’m not a sexist. But I mean, that is what happens. So one time during Thanksgiving, I was a little kid, like 11 or 12, and I was playing football with my dad and his other 40 year old friends. So me, being the littlest, I wasn’t particularly the best player, but, while we were playing, I freaking caught the ball. I caught it! And then I just started booking it across the field. I’ve probably never ran so quickly my entire life. And I actually made it. I scored a home run! WHOOOO!!! And that, to me was such a pivotal point in my life. I felt so accomplished! Me, a little kid, scored a goal against a bunch of adults. I would think back to it if I was ever feeling sad, like, “Oh, I failed this Math Test, but uh… (Smirks) one time I scored a basket against a bunch of adults when I was 12.” But I remember I was a senior in High School and I was just driving and then the thought came to me… they probably let me score that Touchdown. They were going easy on me. MAN GROWING UP SUCKS! I was never all that competitive as a child. Well… okay, I was never competitive when it came to sports. IT’S JUST A GAME GUYS, WE’RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE FUN!!! WINNING NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!! Sports are good at that age though. They promote physical activity, you can make friends, you might like the sport and want to pursue it more, and it’s not a big deal if you suck. I’m totally making my future kid play a sport. That is, if I have kids. What if I die alone? People make the comparison that some people watch gaming channels for the same reasons that others watch sports. “You’re watching someone play a video game? Why do you watch someone play, when you can just go to the computer and play it yourself!” Now replace the word “Video Game” with “Sport” and “Outside” with “Computer”. and it’s the same thing. LoadingArtist made a very good comic about… the point I’m trying to make… I’ll just read it. “What are you doing?” “Watching this guy play a game. It’s pretty funny.” “Wait, so you aren’t even playing?” “Yeesh, what a waste of time.” And then he goes and watches a sports game. Man, LoadingArtist is so much cooler than me. I’ve said this before, but he was such a big inspiration to me when I was first starting out. I just wanted to say that again. GO READ ALL OF HIS COMICS RIGHT NOW! I just want to say it’s fine if you watch sports. Granted, I won’t watch them with you BECAUSE THEY’RE INCREDIBLY BORING! You want to know why gaming channels work? It’s because they play different games. Even CaptainSparklez, who mostly plays Minecraft, and also, who I LOVE by the way… And I did buy a t-shirt to prove my point, but it’s still in the mail. See, look, I bought a T-shirt and I bought sunglasses right here. So I just want to give a big shout out to TheMakerShop.com whose taking a million years to shipping my CaptainSparklez shirt. It was going to be so cool. I was gonna say, “I bought a T-shirt to prove my point.” And then I was gonna flick the sunglasses, that I also bought, down. (Whispers) Notice me, Senpai. This email says it’s gonna take 3 to 7 business days to ship. Well yesterday was the 13th business day. So- so wha- wha- wha- what is it Jordan, 7 or 13? So I bought this, just so I have something physical to show my love for CaptainSparklez. I’ve been watching all of his videos since TNT. Oh, he’s changed it. (♫♫♫) But the point is… He changes around the format and the rules of his “Let’s Plays” with all the different maps he plays. It’s different for every video. Even his role-playing ones, which I’m still waiting for part 5 to come out. Like, imagine there is a gaming channel that only played the first Super Mario game. It might be fun to watch at first, especially if you’re good at playing the game, and it might be fun to watch how other people play it, and… see what they do. BUT FOR FIFTY YEARS??? Don’t you think that will get a little boring after a while? I mean only so much can happen. AND THAT’S WHAT I THINK SPORTS IS LIKE!… Sometimes. It’s the same game, same rules. Over and over and over. Like, spice some things up once in a while. What if for basketball, there were like, mystery boxes, like in MarioKart and you can grab them and that would give you an advantage. How about if a team is losing, they get some wacky, hilarious handicap depending on how far behind they are, so it’s not hopeless for them. “But James, sports is supposed to measure your talent!.” (Gibberish) WHATEVER! It gets boring to watch. I can understand if the teams are neck and neck and it comes down to one final play, like what it does in every sports movie. That’s why they have to use that plot device in all the sports movies to make it interesting! But a lot of times, sports aren’t like that. Like if one team is leading by 50 points, why even bother watching the last 5 minutes of the game? I would rather watch any Air Bud movie than a sports game because stuff actually happens in those movies, and they’re different each time! And there’s a dog wearing shoes in it. I just want to say, for the record, If my kid grew up to be a professional athlete, THEN I’ll watch sports. But only the games that they play in and only the games that are intresting. UGH! Why is it socially acceptable to know everything about sports and dressup? But it isn’t acceptable to dress up in fur suits and go to cons? You see, I- I don’t think it’s acceptable to do either of those things. You’re both weird. But don’t let me stop you. You do you. Follow your dreams. Okay let’s talk about some stories. In grade school, I was put into the honor’s classes for my academic achievement which, did not help me whatsoever. It probably hurt me when I went to college. But that’s not what were talking about. Anyway, so during recess, the whole class would play kickball. Kickball’s a fun sport, anyone can play it. but it takes a pro to be… …good at it. What? There was this girl in my class who was the best kickball player and then later, when she grew up, she became the valedictorian at my high school and… went to Harvard. I’m proud of her. Also my ginger friend, Nick Jiggly, who I’ve mentioned before, he also got to speak during graduation. Actually, okay. He had this thing where his hands would shake, I don’t think is was Parkinson’s, I- I actually emailed him about it and he said, “I asked a doctor and he said it’s just a mild tremor. Ha.” So he’s probably fine. But whenever he would give a presentation in front of the class, his hands would be shaking and people would think, “Aww. He’s nervous.” But no, actually he’s the most extroverted and outgoing kid that I knew. He just had a condition. That was a pretty long tangent. What are we talking about? Sports? Oh yea, kickball! Since everyone in the class was kinda already a nerd, I wasn’t usually the last one to be picked on a team. I was usually the 4th or 3rd to last. It’s so nerve racking when the last five are still standing, and you think, “Don’t let me be last. Don’t let me be last!” and then you get picked and it’s like, “HA! THEY THINK I’M BETTER THAT YOU!” Which I’m not actually. One time, I think I was like 15 or something, and me and this big group of people went to a sports complex. And we were having fun, playing games and running around and then BOOM! A soccer ball just wacked me in the face! I got a bloody nose and I couldn’t stand up without toppling over for a few seconds, and then I went to a bathroon, you know, freshened up. What sucked is that it was a girl that hit me and people made jokes like, “Oh you got hit by a girl!” IT STILL HURT OKAY! So I sat out for a couple of minutes, I waited until I stopped seeing flashing colors. Then, like the man that I am, I went back and played some more. And not 5 minutes go by when, PFFFT! IT HAPPENED AGAIN! Different person this time. But after the second time, I was completely out. I mean, I wasn’t unconscious, but I couldn’t get up. I remember my brother had to carry me out on his shoulder. So I didn’t play any more soccer, after that. I didn’t play for a long time actually I don’t think I even played soccer after that whole experience. So, Thanks for watching. That was the video. I didn’t even talk about how sports athletes are overpaid. But, eh, that’s not really, my, here nor there to say that. Some people that that I’m probably overpaid. I would of have to do research to talk about the overpaid athletes. Teachers, they don’t get paid. They get paid NOTHING. But I mean, it’s kind of like supply and demand. I- I- I mean, I just talking out of my butt right now. It- not everyone can throw a football. Ah, what else? So yea, thanks for watching. Remember to smash that video, smash that subscribe button, smash that comment bar And smash… …your girlfriend. AH, I’m sorry.

Antonio Breitenberg

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100 thoughts on “My Thoughts on Sports

  1. shahrod schuler says:

    If I scored a goal against my father and any of his friends when I was at that age I would most likely be cheering and telling my father to look at me as I just did a touchdown and I would just turn around and see my dad eating a sandwich and he would say "ok good job….. Ok I'm going to get some turkey you can eat the football"

  2. Gaming With Demo says:

    Bro he said homerun instead of touchdown

  3. eavan rae says:

    so james basically just said “wow i’m shocked friend. you’re so goofy you little rascal. goodbye, goodbye. erection, abuse, breasts.”

  4. Chemicalcupcake: Gaming and more! says:

    I LOVE sports

  5. Wet Willy says:

    Y'all think james knows about the female football league? XD

  6. Koli Marie says:

    I played soccer for one season as a kid. I was terrible. Everyone else was running toward the ball, I was running away from it. The exact opposite of what you’re supposed to do.

  7. finba says:

    I'm having second thoughts on James. England isnt that bad

  8. Ellerby Reviews says:

    I am English and I do NOT talk like that and no one where’s monicols or top hats anymore and not everyone likes tea!
    I still love your channel though!
    PS: ENGLAND IS NOT LAME!

  9. Wizz says:

    Floor is lava
    5
    4
    7
    9
    2
    1
    Wait…

  10. Katie Gordon says:

    Hey James can you be nice to England because we can find many youtubers that are English 🙁 plz like you will get friends and if you are English plz like to show that lots of English people watch him

    I liked my own comment because no one will

  11. JayKB says:

    Who here is English?

  12. Jia Kong says:

    So is he sexist or?

  13. Charlie plays 604 604 says:

    I play soccer and I am in a professional team but a under 14 so I’m 13 and it’s in England so yeas u gotta work hard to achieve ur dreams

  14. ninja pro killer785023 B.Limani says:

    Dude i hate when i seee some thing i like im done with it and i see it AGAN

  15. tōkø-chan says:

    Every British person is afended
    Except for me. Because I love this old chap. Pip pip tallyho would you like some tea!

  16. jasmine Steinmetz says:

    SPORTS SUCK

  17. Byron/Daz funny says:

    Stop being mean to British people

  18. Max to the Maximum says:

    It sounds like the soccer balls hitting you were on purpose

  19. D4rkblaterPT 107 says:

    I have the mild tremor too

  20. Kyra Fiona Aurelia van den Hoek says:

    Yeeeet

  21. Kristens Lane says:

    James it’s not a home run it is a touchdown

  22. Gamewhisperer 9 says:

    You have a point about watching sports and watching games but you also don’t because to play a video game you need the platform and the game. However to play sports you usually need others and you don’t want to be injured or if you are too old

  23. A J says:

    Jeez james not all British talk like that its just the stupid fancy posh people🙄😂😂😂😂ps i know its a joke and its pretty funny cuz i have no idea what hes saying😂😂😂😂

  24. loki DA CAT says:

    I acululy wanted to play softball

  25. Asra Akbar says:

    I agree 😂 there are some games that go on for hours. I wish I had that kind of attention span😂

  26. Lucas Games says:

    It’s not really that hard I’m a goalkeeper life so most of my shots

  27. Oliver Arrar says:

    Well ello there mate, we’ve got a cheeky little bugger here, calling football soccer, go eat a crumpet for crying out loud!

  28. Douglas Couston says:

    i in england

  29. Kathleen de Kock says:

    it is rugby and football

  30. Izzy Forrest says:

    I'm brittish the start ummmmmmmm…
    We do not talk like that

    Chap 😂

  31. GD Killers says:

    1:58 don't you mean touchdown?

  32. Kevin thegamer02 says:

    👋 hi

  33. Totaltricker - says:

    People that say "*SOCCER*" are also the ones that believe that the earth is round, I mean you have to say football because you play ot with your feet and the "American football" is NPT played with the foot!😡

  34. Atkins Msury says:

    bruh you made fun of my language imma unsubscribe huh

  35. Atkins Msury says:

    bruh we do thx giving to

  36. Shayni Mistry says:

    He says “football” and I’m a Brit so is it like rugby or smthin?? Cuz I call their “football” American football

  37. _Barto_Simpsons_ says:

    NFL is call´t Useless ADDs on TV!

  38. Briana Jorge says:

    James: I score a home run!

    Foot ball fans: U DARE!!!!!

  39. bubbley bubs ! says:

    we know what thanksgiving is! haha! and you said "mate" which is australlian 😀

  40. 1craley878 says:

    just wondering what drawing/animation program do you use?

  41. Jose David 1507 says:

    English:

    Football isn’t football :v

  42. Tina Wright says:

    James is the goat been here since 2014

  43. howdy _ says:

    They are boring

  44. CoolK says:

    This is Hobbies the other one is Hobbies 2 lol

  45. Kristian Reb says:

    Me to

  46. Titanicp99 9 says:

    Thanks giving is in England ya know and England isn’t lame

  47. waspz-ash says:

    How dare You

  48. mini Marshmello says:

    JAMES STOP CALLING MY HOME OUT IM FROM ENGLAND

  49. Jayingee Vevo and albert says:

    1:17 what did you do next

  50. Tfue says:

    I’m good at kickball

  51. Poppy Party says:

    I HATE football/soccer

  52. Kyan Delgado says:

    Fear boosts youuuuur speed.

  53. Kyan Delgado says:

    Due alone…?! Die rather guys oof rip.

  54. Kyan Delgado says:

    :c Don’t worry you won’t die alone dude…, right guys?? ! .

  55. Kyan Delgado says:

    Your face on these people XD Lol.

  56. Kyan Delgado says:

    Over watch league hey wait if nose then why on the guys again rip. Oh yeah well even if hits chin still can bleed rip XD PANCAKE!

  57. Elisheva Menachof says:

    in the begining of the vidio i got mad bc im british :I

  58. Zachyshows says:

    im offended by the start
    any other Brits who are offended?

  59. Jordan Marchand says:

    I S C O R E D A H O M E R U N

  60. Blue Moon says:

    Bro that microphone is thic

  61. James Zeller says:

    1:59 one like=replay

  62. Ben Powell says:

    Look, I get that it’s a joke that British people are super stuck up. But can we just stop using that stereotype. It’s really annoying.

  63. Taylor Brumby says:

    America sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  64. Oisin Moore says:

    James: I got a bloody nose
    Cartoons: fuck

  65. Squid Gaming says:

    I’m British

  66. jannatul farduse says:

    My country calls soccer football because you kick it around

  67. Annemarie Henry Thiem says:

    0:06 this is legit all i heard on my trip to England.

  68. sj88 blue says:

    England is not lame

  69. Rusty Pow roblox says:

    “Wow blind me mate we got chicky bother here, we do we do oh pip pop Cheerio steeper wings yo momma god save the queen”
    OML IM DYING 🤣

  70. Lonux Wolf says:

    Touchdown not homerun

  71. Grapefruitz says:

    3:27 I totally agree
    I'm not very sporty, but I would much rather play sports than watch them
    sOoO bOrInGGGG

  72. Kristine Molina says:

    why don't u talk about yur dad

  73. the gacha girl says:

    U know U won't notice this comment but I will try anyways…….

    NOTICE ME SENPAI NOTICE MEEEEE

  74. AdmiralLatte says:

    @ 3:13 when James doesn’t say complete

  75. jendeukie girl says:

    Its not just England lmao for the entire Europe its football over soccer lol

  76. Nico Di angelo says:

    I did Gymnastics for a year,I did Girl Scouts for a year,I did dance for a year and I did soccer for a week…

  77. Tom SestitoGOON says:

    5:00 Rip Tyler Skaggs. (I know it’s not him but he played on the angels still)

  78. Zach Turicchi says:

    scott sterling! Try not to get hit again :3

  79. Slopey Daily says:

    He said home run and he said basket lol

  80. lorenzien Wright says:

    Tracer for what??

  81. Miles Gardner says:

    well, bly me, mate we got a chigie buget here we do, we do pop cheerio hope a stiffie ankin-shinokers god save the queen

    is what i thought they said

  82. Blake musella says:

    I scored a home run

  83. Blake Bushnell says:

    Its funny to watch them panic not to watch them play a game

  84. Micah Ng says:

    Lol the irony tho, my name is Micah but I don’t like soccer.

  85. Shane Thissell says:

    Mark jack. I’m I going crazy 😝!!!!!

  86. Elite GamerHD says:

    Every American needs to really hear how British people sound it’s a lot different 😂

  87. samuel obeng says:

    Nobody talks like that in England

  88. Sheep League says:

    I got picked last one time so I worked hard and smashed the team that picked me last

  89. Cap says:

    But WWE is measuring their acting, that’s why the best ones like John cena and the rock are both big actors

  90. Jc bakugan says:

    Dude homerun is baseball touchdown is football!!!!

  91. Annoniem Pje says:

    Ben je Nederlands

  92. Mahjabeen kids videos says:

    James I like you. Forces boring specially bold I like your. A sports is mostly boring if you are watching someone play the game playing the game I think that I am thinking I still think that you are and also like Windows and that's all

  93. Gachakid Dahistoricgamer says:

    0:10 I agree 100%

  94. Joseph Scott says:

    Hello

  95. Nooa Tiihonen says:

    Athletes overpaid coming from a youtuber.
    Youtubers get like 10k-few millions for doing pretty much nothing

  96. Brick time Animation says:

    The Man U love :captainsparkuls: has less subs then u how do feeel

  97. Ulysses Enriquez says:

    0:15 James drives a Miata!?

  98. Agustina Garcia Menendez says:

    I also think that is BORING to see sports 🥎

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