Learning to Surf | Mortified | S1E3


(rock music) ♫ Someone tell me what is going on ♫ ‘Cause I don’t understand ♫ There must be somewhere I belong ♫ Some days I want to run and hide ♫ Tell me are you on my side ♫ Why can’t I just be myself ♫ Why ♫ Get me out of here ♫ Take me where I can be free ♫ Get me out of here ♫ Anywhere I can be me (upbeat bouncy music) – Can you believe this? Year six! Feels like the start
of a whole new journey. I think this is the part
where we have to babysit. – Great. – Don’t worry, little kids are easy. Just smile a lot, they like that. – You would know this because…? – I’m a natural with kids. They love me. – [Teacher] Okay Six M. As you’re officially at the top of the primary school ladder, you’ve each been assigned a buddy. And as responsible year sixes, you’ll be expected to look after them as if they were your
own brother or sister. – Oh excellent, I’ve
always wanted a sister! – You already have a sister. – No, no, no, no. One that I actually like. – [Teacher] Now raise your hands and pair off as I call your name. Leon and Rory. – Hey, g’day mate. – [Teacher] Hector and Jamie. – Wish me luck. – Trust me, just keep smiling. – Hello, oohhhh! – [Teacher] Taylor, you’re with Alicia. – Terrence, you’re with Oliver. – [Taylor] Hi Alicia! Remember me? I’m Taylor? From down the street. We’ve been neighbours, like your whole life. Great! I’m even invisible to a little kid. – I’m not little! – I’m sorry – You’re not little, you’re just right. (crying) – Kids do love me Hector. I mean, she even knows me! – Don’t worry, she probably just had
too much red cordial. – [Leon] Hey people, how’s it going? – Hey Leon! How are you? – I’m great, surf’s up – Sorry to hear what happened today. He got three weeks’ detention for rigging the school captain election. – Oh that, no big deal. – Yeah, a little electoral
fraud never hurt anyone. – Pff, couldn’t care less! I’ve got waves to ride. Later! – [Taylor] Yeah, later. It is so amazing how he can just brush off something like that. – Puh-lease. – I wish I didn’t worry
about all the little things. Maybe it’s the surfing. Do you think I could be like that? – Yeah sure, Taylor. You just need to get in
touch with the surfer within. I’m going for a swim. You coming? – Maybe you’re right. Maybe I really am a
world-class surfer within. (people cheering) – Taylor, your last ride in the Classic Pro Tour was awesome! Do you think we’ll see
a repeat of that today? – Can’t see why not? It’s going on! (crowd cheering) (surfing music) – Taylor? What are you doing? – Uh, what am I d-doing? Well, I was doing what all serious sports people do. Warming up! That’s exactly what I’m doing, warming up. – [Brittany] Right. So you surf now? – Yeah, as a matter of fact I– – [Brittany] Then where’s your board? – Um, my board– – There it is! With Andre. – [Taylor] Andre? Oh Andre! Right! I lent it to him. – You did? – Mmhmm. Hey Andre! Yeah, that’s Layla’s new boyfriend. Really cool guy. – Right. So how long have you been surfing? – [Leon] You surf Taylor? – Ah, yeah. – Cool! You gonna enter the Sunburn
Junior Classic this weekend? – This weekend? – [Leon] Yeah, it’s gonna go off! – [Taylor] Uh, yeah. Sure. The beach, awesome. (school bell rings) – [Teacher] Don’t forget, you’ve got to escort
your buddies home today! Taylor, can I see you please? – Can you wait for me? – No, I’ll catch you later. I need to pick up Jamie. – For a second I thought you’d forgotten. – Forgotten? – Guess I was right. It’s your turn to adopt
Butch for the week. – Oh! Right, Butch. Of course, no problems. I’m great with animals. Hi there Butch! Oww! We’re gonna be fine. – [Teacher] Don’t forget your buddy! – [Taylor] Hi there Alicia! Please don’t cry, please don’t cry. – Hey! (joyful music) (record scratch) Ooh, a bunny! Hi Fluffy! – His name is Butch. – Don’t worry, kids take time. She’ll come around. – [Chloe] Brittany, you’re so pretty. – [Brittany] Thanks Chloe! So Taylor, how’s the surfing going? – Fine! – I can’t wait to see it! Come on Chloe, let’s go get an ice cream. – That makes two of us. Come on, let’s go. Alright, bye now. – Bye Fluffy, I’ll come
and visit you tomorrow! (kisses bunny) – His name is Butch. (giggling) – Wow! Look Andre, main course! – Haha, you’re hilarious. Really. – Rabbit is a delicacy
in some regions, doof. And Andre is an apprentice chef. – [Andre] Don’t worry Taylor, your plump little friend here
is perfectly safe with me. – Yeah. You go anywhere near
this rabbit ever again, you’re dead meat. – More like it will be. – Alright. You’ll be safe there. Gotta start somewhere. (surfing music) Paddle. Paddle. Ahh! Ouch! It’s not as easy as it looks! Ahhh! Hector. – This was the best I could do. – How to surf like a pro in
less than nine minutes a day. Perfect! – Why do I have to learn how to surf when you’re the one
entering the competition? – Because you’re my best friend, and it’s your duty to support me. – [Hector] I could do that from the comfort of the beach. – Shh, it’s on. – [Video Instructor] Okay surfers! The first step is to catch the wave. And to do that, you’ve got to paddle! – Come on! Paddle! You’re gonna miss it. – [Video Instructor] You’ll
find the natural inclination is to lean and hug the board. Fight that urge surfer dudes, because it won’t give you
the ride of your life! – I feel like an idiot. – [Taylor] Well you’re
going to look like one if you get dumped by the imaginary wave. Now paddle! – [Layla] I think I left
it in the lounge, hold on. Okay dork. What are you doing? – Uh, we were just um … – Leaving! – We’re never gonna learn how to surf until we can actually
get out into the water. – Funny how it’s always “We” – And we can’t do that until we get a board. Come on! Hey Dad, you got a sec? – I’ll be with you in a minute Squirt. We’ve got to get together
a very important display. – But I need to borrow a surf board. – Go, bond! – Step this way. Now this is something
your old man knows about! Now the most important thing
to remember about surfing is that timing is everything. – Okay Dad, can we please– – It’s not something you can rush. Because when it comes to surfing, patience is everything. – Patience, got it. Now can we please go– – But Taylor, with surfing, balance is everything! I can take you for a lesson
after work if you’d like? – Dad! I don’t want you to teach me. I just want a surf board. – You’re doing a tremendous
job there you two, do you reckon you could get the rest of them
dressed while I uh … – Go! – Okay Taylor, there is someone you just have to meet. Come on down old mate. Taylor, meet Hal! – Hal? – Every good board earns a name. – Um, Dad, I don’t think Hal’s what I’m looking for. – Oh nonsense, he practically catches the waves himself! Now you take care of my old mate, and he’ll take care of you. Now I don’t want to blow my own horn, but the only way you’re gonna get a better start to your surfing life than the one Hal can give ya, is one I can give ya. You know I was 1979– – Thanks Dad! – Sunburn Beach Classic second runner up. What a ride that was! – Couldn’t you have gotten a bigger board? – Don’t start, okay? – Okay, first thing we need to find out is whether you’re goofy or not. – You’re the goofy one! – Relax, will ya? Goofy’s somebody that surfs
with their right foot forward. – And since when did you
know all about surfing? – Since I borrowed “Surfing for Dummies” – So are you calling me a dummy now? – It’s just the name of the book! Jeez Somebody’s sensitive today. – Yeah, well you’d be too if you had to learn to surf on this thing. (grunting with exertion) Ahh! – Do you need a hand? – Don’t just stand there! – Oh, uh, right. Right. – Okay. Whew. – [Hector] Okay, go go go! Paddle! Paddle! – What? Pa-ddle! – What? – I can’t hear you! – Hector, this is not going to work! – [Hector] What? – I can’t hear you! – Okay! Can you hear me now? (loudspeaker feedback) Swim! – Ahh! – Swim! Get back on the– back on the board! Ooohh! Paddle! (panting) – This isn’t working. – You don’t reckon? – Okay! Now let’s start with some basics. – Now? – Yeah now! Firstly, you need to remember that surfing is not so much a sport, as an art. – Got it. – You got it? Okay yeah good. Okay, secondly. Just here, that’s right. A little to the side. And bend your knees, just bend your knees, that’s the way. Down, a little further. Bend your knees, good! Just relax! You’ll find it just
starts to work for you. You need to relax and
your chin will come up. Okay, you need to be flexible in mind and body. And you’re on it. – Dad, do we have to do this here? – You’re absolutely right, I’ll go and get the cozzies – No Dad! What’s the point? I mean it’s flat airs It’s gonna go off in the morning, around five a.m.? – Ha ah! Now you’re talking! Nothing like the fresh morning
air to get the blood pumping! – Great! That early, beach will be practically deserted! No chance of being seen with Dad and his cozzies. – Wow! This water’s tremendous, eh? Okay, here we go. Now remember, it’s in your blood. You got this, alright? Here comes a little one now. Here we go Yes! Hands on the rails! Right foot forward! Yeah yeah yeah! Here we go, one more! Up you go! Here we go, that’s it! – Oh look! – Get her up! Yes! You got it! Yes! – Oh! I’m doing it! – [Lady] Yoohoo! Hi there! – Morning Taylor! – [Dad] Oh hi! G’day! You know, I think your board’s too big. – Ya think? (groaning) There’s no way I’m gonna
learn how to surf in time. At least not without being seen. I should never have told
anybody I could surf. What was I thinking? – Um, Taylor? You might want to, um – Oh no! Butch! Butch! (both calling for Butch) – [Layla] (slowed down) Main course! – Layla! Tell me where Andre lives! – [Hector] Taylor! How do you know he’s got it? – [Taylor] Call it a gut feeling. – [Hector] Taylor, wait! Taylor! You could at least knock! – Andre! Come out Andre, I know you’re here! Andre! – Taylor! What– – [Taylor] What did you do with Butch? – [Andre] Who’s Butch? – Don’t play dumb. “My plump little friend”? Remember? – I didn’t touch it dude! – [Taylor] Don’t call me dude. I know you took Butch. You’ve got cold, hard evidence
all over you kitchen bench! – I’m making stock. – A likely story. – I’m telling the truth! Really! Here, taste it if you don’t believe me! – You barbarian! – Um, Taylor? – [Taylor] Oh, Butch! Aww, I thought you were– – [Hector] Soup? – Hector! It’s okay little buddy. Now Alicia. That was very naughty to follow me. And why did you take
Butch without telling me? – He told me! He wanted to go for a bike ride. – Oh, so now he’s a talking rabbit. – Hey, you got a problem with that? (Alicia cries) – Oh no, no, no! Don’t cry Alicia. Look, I’m sorry, okay? How about I take you home? Come on, let’s go. What was I thinking? I’m as much a surfer as you are an athlete. – [Hector] Gee, thanks. – You know what I mean. – [Hector] Taylor, as your best friend, I think it’s my duty
to tell you the truth. – It’s okay. I can take it. – The truth is, on a surf board, you suck. Even if you could get a
nice, normal-sized board, like this one I borrowed from Andre, even then you probably couldn’t get up. And even then you
probably couldn’t stay up. So if I were you, I’d stay as far away from
the beach as possible. – Is that right? – Surfing clearly isn’t your thing. – Well, not only can I do it. I will do it! (upbeat rock music) – [Announcer] Welcome to
the Sunburn Junior Classic, it’s a great day, the sun is shining, the waves are perfect, the action here is just moments away guys, so cast your eyes towards the breakers. Last call to competitors. – Knew she wouldn’t turn up. – [Hector] Taylor! – Go Taylor! She’s gonna win, isn’t she? Go Taylor, we love you Taylor! – Carve it up kid! (surfing music) – [Roy] She’s got it,
she’s got it, she’s got it, yes yes! Oh… Nevermind, nevermind, next time, next wave. – Go for it Taylor! – Go Taylor! – There she goes! – [Roy] She’s got it,
she’s got it, she’s got it! (Taylor screams) Next time, next time. There’s always the next wave. Always the next wave. – [Leon] Hey Taylor, next set’s yours! Go hard Taylor! – Come on Taylor, you can do this. – [Roy] She’s got it,
she’s got it, she’s got it! Yes yes! Oh she’s got it! She’s got it! Yeah, let’s go! Yeah!!! Ha ah! See that? Chip off the old block, eh? Hey hey, that’s my daughter! That one. – [Alicia] Taylor! – Told you they love me. – You did great out there. – Thanks, it was so … – [Leon] Hey, you’re pretty good! – Thanks Leon! Just wish I’d had stayed up longer. – Oh no, that’s why we all surf. We’re all looking for that perfect wave. It’s kinda like … – A journey? – Yeah, yeah. That’s it. – A journey. – And plus the chicks really dig it. – [Taylor] Oh, Leon. I forgot to thank you for
all your help out there. So thanks. – [Leon] Oh it’s cool. Catch ya later. – So I guess you really can surf. – You doubted me? – No … I I guess it runs in the family. – [Roy] Whoohoo! – Hey, check out the oldies and their big old board. How sad is that? – Woah ahhh! – Hang ten dude! Riding the lip! (theme music) ♫ Someone tell me what is going on ♫ ‘Cause I don’t understand ♫ There must be somewhere I belong ♫ Some days I want to run and hide ♫ Tell me are you on my side ♫ Why can’t I just be myself ♫ Why ♫ Get me outta here ♫ Take me where I can be free ♫ Get me outta here ♫ Anywhere I can be me

Antonio Breitenberg

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