Freedom Fighter Films “What If?”

Freedom Fighter Films “What If?”

Have you ever wondered or had a “what if”
question you’ve asked yourself? Um maybe… Like what if they’re like wasn’t a
way that we like told time? What if everybody always agreed with each other and believed the same things and always had the same ideas? Would we all get
along a lot more easily, or would things become too monotonous and boring and
where would we draw inspiration and creativity from? What if I had to take a
bunch of pills every day and how would that change me? What if I hadn’t been adopted? What if I wasn’t diagnosed with JRA? What if a big moment in your life
hadn’t happened? What if my father had never died? What if I did not adopt my daughter? JRA stands for juvenile rheumatoid
arthritis and it is a disease that is can be located in joints so when I like
it’s active in my body which it is now it causes like stiffness and pain and
agitation and swelling sometimes. I would probably be a different person like my
personality might be different I might try I might have tried out for more
sports or something because it just doesn’t hold me back it just makes life
a little more strenuous and hard, not hard but frustrating. When I was like nine I was diagnosed with a mental illness when i was diagnosed with a
panic disorder. I was wondering, I mean I think about that sometimes not like
deeply that I’m like “what if that hadn’t happened well how would my life be
different?” Just going to school um, is, is challenging, it has been a lot in the
past it’s been better but um yeah trying to get through a school day just…
Lots of panicky thoughts um not feeling safe not feeling comfortable uh
feeling like something bad’s gonna happen all the time. I think the way it
affected me at least most profoundly would probably be that I probably
wouldn’t have I guess developed the kind of confidence I have now, now that it’s
been several years and you know. I think the darkest point for at least for our
whole family was probably realizing that it could still be a positive influence
actually knowing that… I mean my father had he had flaws and
definitely was a for a source of stress in my family for just arguing with my
brothers and you know some substance abuse actually. When I was in elementary
school he would actually just because he thought it would be fun he would come in
and read to my class every year he’d just email the teacher. He’d just be like “Hey can I come read to your class?” Like a Dr. Seuss book and it’ll be a good time you
know they’re elementary kids it’ll just be like a day off from lessons and he did
that like every single year and just completely unprompted just to be
involved with my schooling which was really definitely a good memory. So adopting my daughter meant that my world is so much more vibrant and rich I also
now have a attachment to a culture and a country that I wouldn’t normally have
such a deep attachment to I have someone that pushes me to be the best person I
possibly can be and I have someone that tests every ounce of my patience. We just
really felt that our daughter was out there in the world. My husband and I, we
didn’t feel that being genetically related to our children was something
that we had an overwhelming desire or need to and so we just made a lot of
decisions about how we wanted to form a family and that was one of them. Um, so
when we first met our daughter she was three months old and we went to
Guatemala to meet her and she was living in a foster home and so her foster
mother came to meet us where we were and she had about 27 little tiny ponytails
all over her head that were gelled in this like really crazy spiky pattern
which we’re still are really unsure about and so all we saw was like
basically what looked like an alien coming through the parking lot of where
they were meeting us and I immediately was like we have to
get those out for her head but so yeah it was amazing to meet her and was just
like “that’s our kid! There she is, born 6,000 miles away from us. She’s just
awesome and we are grateful for her for being so brave and for being so amazing
to trust us to raise her and then everyone’s well maybe she doesn’t have
to roll her eyes at everything.

Antonio Breitenberg

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